I’ve been coaching a person lately who is having a really hard time getting where they want to go. They have all of these dreams, all of these goals, yet they’re struggling to turn them into a reality. The problem? Lack of self-worth.
Like many people I’ve met over the years, this person feels as if they’re not worthy of accomplishing their goals. That, for some reason, they don’t deserve to get what they want out of life. That they don’t deserve to have everything they want…and more.
Because this person feels this way deep down, they’ve become self-sabotaging. They constantly place new obstacles in their own way, essentially “proving” to themselves and those around them that their beliefs are right, that they don’t really deserve what they’re after. They can’t see it, so it never seems to happen.
It’s similar to when you have a goal to lose weight, yet you can’t ever quite envision yourself as thin. You can’t see yourself in pants one, two, or ten times smaller. You can’t imagine yourself with 10, 20, or 100 fewer pounds.
The problem with this way of thinking is that, if you can’t see it, if you feel you don’t deserve it, then you’ll never get it. What you want will never be yours, and for no other reason than because you didn’t think that you were worthy enough to have it.
Be honest with yourself. Have you been feeling that way? Maybe not so much in your conscious mind, but when you ask yourself whether or not you actually deserve the future you want, how does your subconscious respond? Is it definitively shaking its head yes, telling you that you absolutely deserve to live your dream life? Or is it just kind of shrugging its shoulders, saying, “Uh…umm…I think so?”
Here’s the thing: You do deserve to have everything you want out of life…and then some. And if you don’t believe me, let me ask you this: Do you think that your kids deserve what they want out of life? How about your parents? Your siblings? Your good friends?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, which I’d guess that you did because we all want the best for the people we love, then why would they deserve everything their heart desires, yet you don’t? What makes you so unworthy?
Before you start listing all of the things you’ve done wrong in your life, all the mistakes you’ve made and all of the decisions that have sent you down the bad path, remember that no one is perfect. Even the people you love, the ones that you feel deserve everything they want, have made poor choices too. It’s called being human.
If you want more out of your life, you have to make the decision, the affirmation, that you do, in fact, deserve more. Say it out loud right now, “I deserve more. I deserve more. I deserve more.”
Now, keep saying it until you believe it. Let go of your past mistakes so they don’t turn into future mistakes too. Forgive yourself for the things you’ve done wrong and make a choice to not let those actions or inactions dictate where you can go from here.
Once you begin believing that you are worthy, that you do deserve whatever it is you want, you will experience a shift. You will start to move forward and, before you know it, you will have what you want. You will have more. And it will be all because you believed you deserved it. Which you do.