Thursday, October 30th, 2014
If your family is anything like mine (and like a lot of others), then you probably learned at a very young age to avoid confrontations. Face-to-face contact when you were unhappy with someone was something that you were taught to dodge at all costs. Why, I’m still not so sure. It’s not like their eyes could burn holes in you or anything, although I suppose it sometimes felt like that.
Besides, there were always other just as effective ways to get your point known without having to come out and say it directly to them. For instance, you could tell a family member about your ill feelings who you would be sure would relay the message back to the person that had somehow offended you. It wasn’t the best way to handle the problem, but it sufficed back then.
Well, I was thinking about this one day and wondered why confrontation was such a bad thing. I mean, why is telling someone what is on your mind frowned upon? What is so wrong with dealing with a problem head on?
It was then that I realized that even though the word “confrontation” had a negative connotation, it really wasn’t. There are many advantages to sharing your thoughts and opinions and it was even possible to do so without the concern of violence erupting or people responding crazily.
If you are open, honest, and rational when discussing an issue with another person, you will almost always find a common ground. This allows you to work out your dispute or disagreement like two adults, in a respectful manner in which both people walk away a winner.
Fortunately, I have gotten over my fear of “confrontation” and even welcome it, if you can imagine that. For instance, when I hear that someone has a complaint directed toward me or that they have a specific opinion about the way I live my life, I now welcome them to share it with me directly.
I urge them to call me and we will discuss it over the phone or meet with me and we will go over it in person. Either way, I’m much more comfortable now dealing with people than I was in the past. This has allowed me to cut a lot of stress from my life because I have learned to not worry about tip-toeing around an issue.
I approach these one-on-one meetings head on and trust that it will all work out because we’re just two adults discussing our opinions and that isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s very healthy because sometimes you hear something that just may change your life.
Maybe something they say will make you rethink the way you do things, causing you to be more successful than you could have ever dreamed. Or perhaps their opinions, although potentially hurtful, were glaringly honest and forced you to take a look at yourself with eyes wide open, no longer allowing you to ignore your self-destructive behaviors.
There is a place for these types of things in this world and as long as they come from a genuine heart and are stated with a goal to help you live a better life, they’re not wrong. They’re just someone else’s opinion that they cared enough to share, making “confrontation” a very good thing indeed.